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Colours of My Soul

If you do not understand my silence, you'll never understand my words...

Sunday, September 30, 2007

Piercing Words of a Mentor...

It is very rare to find a teacher who is dedicated and concerned not only in learning but is also genuinely interested in the personal development of his/her students. It breaks my heart to think that any of my teachers may feel dissappointed that the guidance that they had given me was not taken seriously. Although I have put in much effort in the past in the various facets of my life, what's obvious is I have to work harder. I know that I have made progress, but I also know that it in some areas, my progress does not measure up to my teacher's expectations and to be frank, my own. I do not want my journey under the tutelage of my teachers/mentor to end on such a note. What I want is for it to end with my teachers feeling that their job is done, this mentee has blossomed and will continue to spread their knowledge and legacy to all those she touches.

Being a teacher myself today, I can't run away from the fact that I am, myself, a role model to some (i know, I find that hard to believe sometimes too :P). I realise that some students take what I say very seriously. Even if they don't say anything to you directly ( for reasons such as maintain their macho-ness or safe-guard their ego), you can see it in their actions e.g. turning over a new leaf. Sometimes, they even come back to tell you how your words had moved them to do something.

Most often, people don't think too much about what effect their words may have on another person. I think just like we look up to some mentors for direction, there is someone out there who is looking to us for guidance. It could be our students, our sisters/brother or even our friends. Take heed that words can be sharper than a knife. So to my friends who are teachers themselves now, the next time a student complains and offers excuses for their poor performance, take a moment before blurting out the so-often heard response ..."if you can't cope, go ahead and quit". Words uttered in your moments of frustration may actually change the entire future of that student. Teaching comes with a heavy responsibilty, the teacher plays a big part in moulding a student's future. It is not just about passing on knowledge, it is about inspiring the pupil with a desire to learn and cultivating solid personalities. So, if you are not in the profession for the right reasons, its best to rethink your position and leave it to those who are.

Good teachers are costly, but bad teachers cost more. ~Bob Talbert

One looks back with appreciation to the brilliant teachers, but with gratitude to those who touched our human feelings. The curriculum is so much necessary raw material, but warmth is the vital element for the growing plant and for the soul of the child. ~Carl Jung

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Anti-Complain Campaign

People complain all the time. Well, I don't know about people, but I complain all the time. But I don't consider what I do as complaining, more of discussing and sharing my issues with my good friends ( jie jie, its true right? hehe) . Anyway, over the years, I have transitioned from complain Queen, to maybe just complain Princess now... or hopefully I am now only a complain commoner :p

I read an article in Oprah's October issue of O Magazine. Martha Beck launched an Anti-Complain Campaign in which she prescribes a "venting fast" that can help people to "take all that steaming frustration and convert it into the kind of energy that moves mountains and rocks worlds". When you read about people's success stories, there's almost always a part of the story where they say, "at that point, I decided to stop whining and start doing". So ya, I've been thinking about this too, I have done it too on several occasions where I decided to stop "b*******"( hehe, I don't use such words, that's Martha Beck's) and start moving. Unfortunately, I have my good days and bad days... oh wait, actually i have my good days and my bad months.
So, I'm thinking, maybe this "venting fast" is something I ought to try. If I'm successful, maybe then jie jie and I can spend more time talking about more happy and positive things and less "unhealthy" stuff.
So, here I share with you all the instructions for the venting fast. Do give it a try ...

Venting Fast
1. For a period of time, say a week or a month, stop complaining aloud about anything, to anybody.
( I think I will try one day at a time...hehe)
2. When the urge to fuss arises, vent on paper. Start with the words I'm upset about . Then describe whatever's bothering you.
(I'm gonna use the "journal" that jie jie bought for me)

3. Think of at least one thing you can do to actually change the frustrating situation. Write it down. If you can't think of any positive action steps, simply continue to resist venting out loud. Eventually, your frustration will increase until you think, I'm so upset I just want to....!

4. Do it. Divorce that guy, cuss in front of your fundamentalist sister, put off lunching with the passive aggressive "friend" until the end of time.
A note from Martha: If you think that a venting fast requires willpower, you are half right. After a few whine-free days, you'll find that it also requires courage- possibly more than you've ever used.

To me, refraining from venting your frustrations doesn't mean that you have to completely stop sharing/talking about your problems. It simply means that you find a more positive way of handling it. Go ahead talk about it, don't focus on the negative for too long, say it, then move on to discuss the positive side of it....keep in mind always, the law of attraction from "The Secret".

Give this a try, what have you got to lose....in fact, you actually have much to gain if you manage to stick to it!

"Great minds talk about ideas, average minds talk about events, and small minds talk about people.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt